How to fight the loneliness epidemic in motherhood
Motherhood is often romanticised as a time of deep connection and purpose, yet for so many, it is a profoundly lonely experience. The transition into motherhood can feel like a shedding of the self, where the familiar rhythms of life are replaced with relentless caregiving, and the deep need for community often goes unmet. Despite being surrounded by noise, tiny hands, and constant demands, loneliness can settle in like an unseen weight. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Connection is the antidote to loneliness, and it begins with small, intentional steps. Finding a village—whether in the form of other mothers, family, or kindred spirits—can be transformative. Local parenting groups, playgroups, and meetups offer a space to gather with others walking a similar path. Sometimes, it’s simply about showing up, even when it feels daunting, and trusting that there is warmth in shared experience. Attending a Mother & Baby Circle or a Motherhood Circle can be a beautiful way to be held in community, to share openly without judgement, and to feel deeply understood in this season of life. Online spaces, too, can provide comfort. Whether through social media, WhatsApp groups, or platforms like Peanut, digital connection can bridge the gap when in-person support feels out of reach.
Yet, connection isn’t just about other people. It’s also about tending to yourself, reclaiming the parts of you that may feel lost in the depths of early motherhood. Small acts of self-care—stealing moments for a cup of tea in silence, stepping outside for fresh air, reading a page of a book that has nothing to do with parenting—can be a radical form of self-preservation. If loneliness feels overwhelming, reaching out to a therapist or counsellor can offer a space to be truly seen and heard.
Rhythms and rituals can anchor you. Planning regular playdates or walks with another mum, joining a parent-and-baby yoga class, or simply meeting a friend for coffee can help create a sense of normality. Exercise—whether it’s a gentle stretch in the morning or a brisk walk with a pram—can lift the fog and bring clarity. And if making new friends feels daunting, beginning with small interactions—chatting with another parent at the park, smiling at a neighbour—can slowly build a web of connection.
It’s also okay to grieve the friendships that have changed. Motherhood shifts dynamics, and while some relationships will deepen, others may drift. But new friendships can bloom in unexpected places, sometimes in the shared exhaustion of a sleepless night or the knowing glance of another mother at soft play.
Speaking your truth can be liberating. Admitting, “I feel lonely,” to a partner, a friend, or even on paper in a journal can help lighten the burden. Often, loneliness thrives in silence, but connection grows in honesty.
And then there is the wild, untamed beauty of the present moment. While loneliness often whispers that something is missing, practising mindfulness—truly being in the now with your child—can shift the perspective. Watching the way their fingers explore the world, listening to their laughter, feeling the weight of them in your arms… these are the moments that tether us back to something real.
Above all, be gentle with yourself. You were never meant to mother alone. Seeking connection isn’t a sign of weakness but of strength, of an instinctive knowing that we heal and thrive in community. The village isn’t lost—it’s waiting to be rebuilt, one small, courageous step at a time.
